Are You Living with
Genito-Pelvic Pain?
Please, Share Your Story.
How do you navigate dating and relationships when sex is painful?
How do you talk to doctors and other clinicians about your diagnosis?
How do you take on the day—or take it easy—when your pain is at its worst?
I would love to hear your story—so would others who are living with genito-pelvic pain.
The what.
I’m Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST, and I’m writing a book. This will initially be a dissertation project for my PhD in Clinical Sexology at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, and I hope to publish it after that. This book will tell the stories of real AFAB individuals living with real genito-pelvic pain—tight pelvic floor muscles, vulvar pain, endometriosis pain, and more. It will share the ups, downs, successes, and struggles of living with this unique and complex brand of chronic pain.
The why.
I’m a sex and relationship therapist who specializes in working with genito-pelvic pain. (Learn more about me here.) Though about 75% of women will experience this pain at some point in their lives, I hear time and time again from my clients how alone they feel. After all, talking to friends or family about this very private pain feels near impossible—and the very thought of broaching the topic to doctors and therapists (let alone enduring the treatment) can lead to a feeling of paralysis.
To address this concern, I have been running a peer support group at Spark Chicago Therapy for the past several years in which those with genito-pelvic pain come together to share their stories, support each other’s journeys, and offer resources and advice, and I’ve seen first-hand the healing power of that community and support. Talking with others allows for commiserating with struggles; sharing tools, coping strategies, and resources; and celebrating successes big and small. This group was the inspiration for this project. I hope the result will be that peer support group in book form.
The who.
If you were assigned female at birth and living with (or have lived with) long-lasting genito-pelvic pain, I’d love to hear from you. I’m hoping that folks of many backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, genders, and orientations will see parts of themselves in these pages, which means I’ll need a diverse group of individuals to tell their stories. You must be over 18 and premenopausal to be included. You do not need a formal diagnosis to participate.
The how.
There are two ways to include your story in this project:
(1) The first is to fill out the survey here. It is mostly short-answer questions, so it may take some time to complete thoughtfully. By filling out the survey, you are consenting to have what you write included in this project—and the more details and anecdotes you write, the more likely you are to be included.
(2) At the end of the survey, you will be given the option to include your email address if you’re open to being contacted for a more thorough phone or video interview. This interview will take about an hour, and I may contact you for follow up interviews.
You will only be identified in the project by your first name (or a nickname of your choosing), your pronouns, and your age. All other identifying information will be hidden.
If you’re chosen for an interview, you will also receive a gift of your choosing from the options below:
Ohnut Buffer Rings (wider size)
Vibrating Ohnut Ring
Replens Silky Smooth Silicone Lubricant (5.4 oz)
Trojan Tandem Couples Vibrating Ring + H2O Closer Lubricant (5.5 oz)
UPDATE: Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who have shared their stories already! You are doing the hard and important work of speaking up so that others feel heard and empowered to speak up, too. Phase 1 of this project, the doctoral dissertation project for my PhD in Clinical Sexology is now complete! Your stories moved me and kept me inspired throughout this process, and I hope to be able to share it with you all soon. If you haven’t heard from me for an interview, the words from your survey itself will either be included in the final project or helped me shape the direction this project would take. Every single voice matters. The next step is expanding this project into a book, which means that (though Phase 1 is complete), there’s a bigger, better Phase 2 coming. You may still hear from me for an interview if you’ve filled out the survey. And I’m still collecting stories, so, if you haven’t yet completed the survey, I’d still love to hear from you. Thanks again, and stay tuned for more!
Fill out the survey and get more information here.
Thank you!
Any questions? Feel free to contact me at rachelzarmft@gmail.com